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Ann Kreilkamp / Ph.D. 83

Astrologer, published author, conference presenter, world traveler, founder & editor of Crone Chronicles: A Journal of Conscious Aging (1989-2001) , and founding visionary of Green Acres Permaculture Village (2010 to present).

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Little Shadow Interweaves His Larger Life with My Own

June 17, 2024

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I write this on the two week anniversary of little Shadow’s death, on June 4, 2024. See previous posts, June 4, 5, 6, 7 and yesterday!

About three days after he died, I was listening to a podcast from a person who does animal communication. She says that, unlike us, our animals do not grieve when they die. (I had never even asked that question! Either I’m totally self-absorbed, or, a part of me knows). She went on to say that what grieves is the body. That made total sense to me. Little Shadow had threaded his embodied life into my own, on a daily, intimate, minute by minute basis. He always sensed my moods; and moved to comfort me if needed.

This woman also said that our deceased animals may communicate with us after death, just like our human partners and other dear ones do. And I’ve certainly had that experience! See This Vast Being: A Voyage through Grief and Exaltation. (I have copies here, if you’re interested.)

The next morning, as I awakened, I distinctly heard the door being scratched down low, just the way he would do it. I knew he wouldn’t be there if I opened the door; I also knew that he had sent me that message.

Here are two twitter offerings that speak to this subject of grieving.

 

And here’s an excerpt from a very early post on exopermaculture.com . . .

 

On Shadows, both real and even more real.

I wanted to give you an update for today, a day when puppy Shadow and I headed into the woods of InDiana, above nearby Griffy Lake. Shadow’s name of course, is very meaningful; he dogs me like my own shadow does, to the point where I sometimes trip over him; his hairy muscled body and faintly bad breath gunk me up sometimes, just like my own shadow does, gunking up both the bathroom and my own body.

Here he is, barely visible, like shadows normally are. Check for the bit of blue, center left, that’s his leash. Follow it to the left end of the log, where Shadow is in shadow.

shadow in shadow of log

See him? I admit, I can barely see him, I just know he’s there. Kind of like my own shadow. Most people don’t see it, unless I show them, but for me, it looms large.

For you, here’s Shadow, alert and illuminated, a bit further along the trail.

shadow in light

How’s this, for truth? C.G. Jung:

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it. Furthermore, it is constantly in contact with other interests, so that it is continually subjected to modifications. But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected.”

I’ve been talking about the shadow as projected into the body, or the environment; Jung puts his finger on the spiritual/mental/emotional shadows that accompany them, and are perhaps their source. As the Buddha says, what we hate and what we love (read: “are attached to), both aversion and desire, are the sources of suffering.

Puppy Shadow’s “shadow” shines bright

June 16, 2024

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(Note, see posts June 4, 5, 6, and 7).

On my walk early this morning I ran into two people with dogs, one after another. Impulsively, I stopped them both, to ask about their dogs. Two wonderfully heartfelt conversations resulted. Makes me realize that I don’t even need a dog with me to make an instant personal connection with a stranger. All I have to do is stop him or her, blurt out “I just lost my dog,” and instantly, their faces fall, they nearly double over in shared pain.

WOW. There’s good reason why GOD is DOG, spelled backwards.

Where would we be, as a human race, without our beloved canine companions who not only love and guard us, but enable us to share our vulnerable feelings with other humans, without embarrassment or apology.

It’s just there, that shared pain.

A pain that courses through the entire world, especially now, with three war fronts, all threatening to detonate the entire planet.

 

Puppy Shadow, some years ago, on the IU campus close to where I was walking today.

 

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”And you? My teacher looked up, his left eyebrow arched, pencil poised. 'I want to do a paper on the concept of time.’” I mumbled, timidly. 'Time?' He sniffed. “I wouldn’t touch the subject. Too difficult.” — AK, 1967
“The longer we live, the larger, the richer the background against which all future experiences take place, and the more complex and subtle our understanding of our own past.” — AK, 1986, A Soul’s Journey
“To me, the most interesting question about human memory is why only certain events, rather than others, carry a charge. Where does the charge come from?” — AK, 1986, A Soul’s Journey
“At a party, many decades ago, a man whom I had just met burst out, in a tone of wonder: ‘You are the first continuously splitting schizophrenic I’ve ever met!’ I bowed low and responded, ‘Thank you!’”
”And you? My teacher looked up, his left eyebrow arched, pencil poised. 'I want to do a paper on the concept of time.’” I mumbled, timidly. 'Time?' He sniffed. “I wouldn’t touch the subject. Too difficult.” — AK, 1967
Ann Kreilkamp

Ann Kreilkamp

Ph.D. 83

Astrologer, published author, conference presenter, world traveler, founder & editor of Crone Chronicles: A Journal of Conscious Aging (1989-2001) , and founding visionary of Green Acres Permaculture Village (2010 to present).