How I’m kind of managing to survive as August begins

August 4, 2025

This post is much later than usual for a Monday, after I’ve supposedly had “three days off.” But this last “three days” was unlike any I’ve ever experienced. Way full of teensy weensy details of the material world. Details I had to be ultra close attention to. Me: fiery and airy by nature, just as fire and air now dominate in astrology, had to tediously pore through the icky aspects of earth energy, and not stop, not all weekend could I even pause to take a breath. At least that’s how it felt. And I was consumed by this task, consumed, and yet utterly distracted, just about every single second, losing things continuously, dropping them here and there and completely forgetting. Forgetting where I was heading now; where I was just a moment ago; supposedly focusing on the present, and yet the present kept slipping away, second by second, into oblivion.

I’m not describing this inner process very well. Language fails me; something very unusual in my heady, mental life. My life that is mostly in the abstract world, looking at principles, opposites, dimensions, and how they work out in practice. But the working out is not nearly as interesting to me, as are the principles, the opposites, the dimensions, themselves. All heady stuff. And here I am, in a body, having to deal, seriously, with my surround which, BTW, has gotten seriously cluttered over the past 23 years I have been in Bloomington. (Not good, in a flea infestation.)

And not only that but here I am in a body, that, I think mostly due to the stress of it all, developed a very sore place in my JAW, an obvious infection leaving me swollen under “tooth #18,” a left back molar, which I knew I would have to deal with come Monday morning. Today. So I did.

And yes, several X-rays later: That tooth, one that a new crown was inserted into just about a year ago, is infected down below. Either a root canal or a tooth extraction required: which is worse? I haven’t decided. But must do it soon.

Meanwhile, the FLEA INFESTATION, the focus of all my mental gyrations within and upon the physical world, continues. Yesterday I spent 5 full hours vacuuming (turning over pillows, moving chairs, etc.), and did five loads of laundry, going up and down steep stairs to the basement at least 25 times. Today I hired someone else to do the vacuuming.

The flea infestation was and is moment by moment; in the background was and is all sorts of other stuff, having to do with the coming days, including my son Sean’s visit from Colorado for (paralyzed, nerve-damaged) Colin’s move from nursing home to his own apartment on the 9th; me having to go get the key for it on the 7th, ahead of regularly scheduled Thursday Community Dinner, and so on.

If you don’t see a post from me on at least one of the next three days, don’t be surprised. Just know that I am dealing with what fiery/airy Ann has been given to do: focus on the material world including that of the body — just as all so many planets move into fire and air.

And of course, I realize that my own woes are nothing compared to the next person’s — whoever that is. As time both speeds up and slows down all at once, we all seem to be undergoing an immense test of some sort. Are we capable of passing it; are we even capable of surviving it?

 

SEEING THROUGH THE GLASS DARKLY: Reflections on Trump’s Digital Health Tech EcoSystem: Rappoport, Ariel Prolotario1, and ME

July 31, 2025

Here’s a doozer for all of us weirdos who tend to be horribly paranoid (i.e., we can’t help but see patterns with an “evil” agenda) re: Trump’s supposedly coming “Golden Age.”

And remember, I’ve decided to trust Trump, despite his obviously flawed human character.

Why, I ask, do we insist that anyone in the public eye not be human? Not have both sides, both light and dark? Have you ever met anyone, or I should say, anyone with a functioning heart, i.e., anyone not an NPC, who is not “flawed” in some manner or other?

Furthermore, have you ever met your real self in the mirror, which you, and I, tend to want to reflect back only our “best.”

Yeah, right. That mirror is 2D, and it cracks wide open to infinity if we stare into our own ensouled eyes for any length of time.

 

Okay, back to today’s post. The fourth and final one for this week.

This one has to do with the current struggle against, terrified acknowledgement of, eager participation in, growing influence of . . . AI. Artificial intelligence. In other words, not really intelligent, not bi-cameral, not generated from intuition that pours in through the right brain in order to be categorized, organized, and logically “moved” by left-brain language and logic into so-called “outside reality.” That AI. That left brain-only magnification of whatever “large language model” humans linguistically feed into and program.

An example: the current struggle between Rapoport’s point of view (totally paranoid and more) and possibly what is a a more reflective, discernment, regarding Trump’s latest announcement: of the Digital Health Ecosystem.

WHAT?!?

 

Jon Rappoport, predictably (and I was certainly inclined in the same direction) went utterly ballistic:

The Data Freaks Are Moving In for the Kill

 

But then wait . . . Check out Ariel Prolotario1’s pov:

https://x.com/prolotario1/status/1950689320467128485?s=61&t=aUBDiSUrvn0aSlRBtZx0wQ

Excerpt: “D. Trump is putting these corps in Daddy Daycare. So they have to play nice.. Many of them were doing everyting you fear you think they are about to do. Nothing new is being invented with this bill.”

 

Which of these two points of view, Rappoport’s or Ariel Prolotario1’s, is the “right” one. I, puny me, have absolutely no idea. Except, as I said, over time I’ve learned to trust Trump. Period. I doubt I’m being hoodwinked. But, of course, you never know! (And Trump himself may be hoodwinked. And/or: once Trump leaves, the real technocratic show will begin.) This just goes to show that whatever are the productions and/or the reflections of the busy monkey mind (left brain, uninformed by right brain with its connection to the heart) —

 

This latest oppositional hornet’s nest reminds me of when I read John Lamb Lash’s Not In His Image., about the gnostics of long ago. As a recovering Catholic with “pagan” tendencies (the word pagan simply means “villager, rustic,” i.e., someone who lives in tune with nature) I LOVED the book, devoured it eagerly, until that is, I came upon the “archons.” What? Evil? Evil allowed into creation? What? NO. I threw the book down and never picked it up again.

This book was first published in 2006. When did I find it, and find myself shocked that the gnostic world view included evil archons? Not sure.

Later today, I’m going to watch this 2021 youtube video: John Lamb Lash on the Archon Empire.

It may be that reading this book was what first shocked me into an even larger awareness — forcing me to always look at both dark and light, both conscious and unconscious, both “sides” of any single, supposed “reality.” Though in this blog I often “err” too much on the side of one or the other, I’m human, too.

Let’s put the situation we are all in imagistically:

YIN and YANG.

Here’s  a good video on this. Yin and Yang are relative to each other; together they yield the tao.

 

I seek to compassionately witness the continuous yin/yang show on this suffering planet while aiming to not identify with “either side” of any polarization.

And all the while, I seek to recognize my own yin/yang nature. Not all “good,” not all “bad.” A mixture of the two, a continuously dynamic balancing act of light and dark, conscious and unconscious.

(Aside: if only the gender bending movement would recognize this more Jungian point of view. It would by itself just vanish that absurdity into thin air.)

“Shadow work”: learning to continuously integrate the yin/yang within myself; doing so makes it not that difficult to learn to serve as a 5D witness to our conflict-ridden 3D life.