A very long time ago, I dashed off something that I decided to keep.
In case you find my old note too hard to read, here it is:
Secrecy is natural result when you didn’t get the privacy you needed. (When there is a collapse — or a non-building — of boundaries between self and others , so no sense of self.
Secrecy then becomes self’s way of assuring a (secret) identity in private — secret, because if others knew about it, they would take it away.
Healthy people give each other privacy — all the circles must be honored —.
Unhealthy people deny others privacy, and then force them into secrecy I order to obtain privacy.
HOLDING OR KEEPING SECRETS DRAINS ENERGY.
And what is a greater secret than the covid con? It continues to drain our energy, five years on. And worse: sometimes we awakened ones just can’t help ourselves . . . especially we who have fallen down numerous rabbit holes — for me, starting with Cathy O’Brien’s book, Trance Formation of America, back in the 1990s, that internally forced me to investigate pedophilia, adrenochrome, blackmail, etc. Oh wait; the Kennedy assasination was actually my first wake-up call. And I did wake up then, knowing things were not as they seemed — though back then, I tried not to think about it. Oh wait! Go back even further, to the radio broadcast of the atomic destruction of Hiroshima, which made my mother cheer! (What? Why? Because it meant my father would be returning home.)
I was two years and nine months old. PTSD’d ever since.
So here we are now, we weirdos:
Okay, Ann, okay. Relax . . .
Easier said than done.
But I know damn well that I’m not alone, and haven’t been alone for some time.
The obvious contradictions, the gaslighting, is what got us wondering what in hell was going on. 
Oh yeah, especially this absurdity.
Here’s what I keep telling people, when I do open my mouth and violate my own privacy, when others would prefer I would not. Secrecy is essential, they probably assume, when what you think you know is way other than what most people think they know.
Here’s what I’d like to say, everywhere I go:
But then . . .
And frankly, I’ve not had these “in control” personally until the last few years. And I’m nearly 83! So no blame, no blame. In fact, I have to laugh at myself, my earnestness, my desire to help others, on and on.
Remember, re-member, put yourself back together again, Ann.
Fulfill your purpose!
