My (unwelcome) visceral response to current, shifting news about Pope Francis

As a forever recovering Catholic, I can’t help but “confess my sins” once in a while.

Here’s the latest:

When I first saw the news about Pope Francis hospitalized, in very serious condition, I thought, “Oh good. Maybe he will die! I hope he dies!”

This thought was powered by emotion, huge emotion. I detest the man. Think he’s a globalist pawn.

In this I am aligned with Archbishop Vigano, whom the pope excommunicated last summer.

Vigano: Did the Deep State install Pope Francis?

Most recent: Vigano calls for forensic audit of Catholic NGOs

But this or that mental alignment is not the issue here. What is at issue: my utterly visceral fury, so strong that I would wish a human being dead.

What’s that about?

And late this morning, I heard that Bergoglio is now recovering, even though he too, thought he was dying. And yep! I’m once again viscerally triggered, into total disappointment, even despair.

Until I also hear that he’s considering resigning. YES!

Notice how, in the case of this pope, I’m strongly, and unconsciously, swayed one way or another depending on what “news” I just absorbed about him?

I need to cultivate a more balanced attitude, like this man has.

Usually I am able to notice news from one direction or its opposite without going off into an emotional deep end. In fact, I’ve cultivated this balancing act for decades now. Of course, because I grew up Catholic, and absorbed its theology, its judgments, it’s requirement for total obedience to a Daddy God, given what I discovered about myself today, I need to realize that I have not processed this likely deepest part of me enough to shift into a truly neutral state.

All of which means: given that I too, seem to be ruled, at times, by an utterly violent instinct, what right have I to judge others for the same?

Sobering.