Went to see Colin again this morning. (I’m now on for twice a week, Marita three times a week). He had quite a tale to tell me. Another roommate story . . . and this one in the context of worsening staff shortages. In fact, Colin’s favorite nurse was summarily fired, yesterday. Luckily, his favorite aide, Kathy, is still there, has promised not to leave until Colin does, and definitely has his back.

Remember, this roommate is perfect for Colin: can’t hear anything, doesn’t speak; like his first (dying) roommate months ago, this one also looks like an aging child, as he lies there prone. (Sometimes he’s in his chair, out in the hall.) Colin says this roommate “doesn’t know how to use the red button to call a staff person to the room, and thinks it’s the year 2000.”

So last night, the roommate needed to go to the bathroom. Colin could hear him groaning, and so pushed his own red button for him, hoping a staff person would come quick. But no one was available. So the roommate got in his chair and tried to get into the bathroom, which opens directly across from the foot of Colin’s bed. 

He couldn’t figure out how to maneuver the chair to squeeze into the bathroom, so pushed back, thudding against the foot of Colin’s bed, hard. Colin’s nerves, already activated as usual in the evening hours, were instantly triggered.

The roomie kept trying and failing, again and again, moving forward, and then lurching back, thud . . . thud . . . thud. This went on for 22 minutes (Colin timed it). Horrific nerve pain, over and over again, thud, thud thud . . . until a staff person, finally freed up, walked in the door.

“Mom, I’ve never felt so frustrated in my life. Horrific thudding pain, over and over again, with the roomie only five feet away from me, AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT.

The roommie is totally deaf, and in his dementia has absolutely no idea what Colin is going through. So of course Colin isn’t blaming him.

The result of all the thudding: all night long, worse nerve pain than usual.

By the time I arrived this morning, around 10:30 AM, the nerves were finally beginning to settle down, which surprised him.

But, and here’s the weird thing. Every time he dreams now, it’s of a sweet woman, one after another, a loving, kind feminine energy, hugging him, holding him, caring for him. These are women he’s never met in waking life, and every time he meets and greets one of these wonderful women telepathically, the dream wakes him up, and he’s happy!

Re: the roommate. He’s hoping that the chair the roommate has can be exchanged for a narrower one, in case it happens again. And it probably will.

“I’m sure they’re going to want me to exchange beds with him. But Mom, being next to the window, with the light, and the tree, and the birds, is so healing for me!  . . . It’s just that this (entire) experience is getting old.”

Me: “Yes, especially as spring approaches. Every living thing is stirring, seeking to come alive, and that includes you.”

BTW: Vlad (the master carpenter) and Josh (Colin’s best friend) were by yesterday, to look at the house Colin will return to, in hopefully not too long. Vlad wanted to see the layout, so he will know how best to make the place work for someone who is handicapped.