Note: Alt-Epistemology ebook here:

https://tendrepress.com/alt-epistemology/

 

A number of conversations, both in groups, and one to one, have annoyed me recently. Or maybe I should say have secretly infuriated me?

That I actually notice my internal reaction is heartening. But that this reaction is, at age 83! when I should by this time know better! — still prevalent in my communications with others is not.

I’ve still got the above image on my desktop, planning to turn it into a T-shirt. Or should I? Would I actually wear this T-shirt in public? Or would it stir up even more vitriol, as those with whom I come in contact react, rather than respond.

As humanity ignites a brand new era, with long-cycled planets Neptune and Saturn both in fiery, volatile Aries, Pluto having just re-entered airy, collectivist and or individualistic Aquarius, and Uranus only days away from erupting from steady, earthy Taurus into fast-track, communicative, so-called “fact-based” Gemini for 7 years, plus everything propelled by exponential growth of AI, I hope I’m ready for the shift. But I’m not. Decidedly not.

Oh wow . . . no wonder! I don’t keep constant track of planetary motions any more, though I do look once in a while. And wow! Here’s today!

Volatile headstrong Mars is also in Aries, sign that it rules, has been working its way from sensitive, imaginative Neptune through strict, directive Saturn since April 9th; plus, just now, today, Mars exactly conjuncts communicative Mercury.

 

And given my own chart, which features 4°Aries (with bad girl Eris, BTW) on the IC directly opposite ultra-sensitive Neptune/MC and closely square Venus/Mercury in controlling, directive Capricorn, no wonder. I mean, no fuckin’ wonder!

Duh! Ann, pay more attention to transits. It may save you some grief.

Grief, which I do not express into the world, but which eats away at my insides, unless and until I process it.

For example:

Just this morning, in the bank, the woman in front of me, whom I’ve known for many many years, expecting commiseration, tells me she’s about to go get her yearly mammogram. Well, I suddenly lost it. Suddenly, in line for a teller, smack in the middle of the civilized bank, I just lost it. In a voice way too loud, I yelled “REALLY? DO YOU KNOW THAT MAMMOGRAMS RADIATE YOUR BREASTS?” On and on . . .

Of course she was offended, and immediately on the defensive; and there we were, arguing, each citing “evidence” and “sources” etc. etc., in an attempt to prove to the other that what we say is true.

At first I tried to pull back, just say that I shouldn’t talk about this subject with her (since we both know it’s likely to lead to argument: she was one of those who, I noticed, eagerly obeyed all societal “mandates” during the covid con).

It was during that five-year broohaha that I began to intone, and to have to repeat, endlessly — to both myself and others — “Let’s just stay with what we have in common.” Especially around here, in my own homestead, Green Acres Village. (This woman used to live here.)

Yes. Let’s just continue “growing community from the ground up” — our motto.

But I don’t learn. Or: I’m just as human as everyone else. Of course I would fall for the argument trap, over and over again. I was raised in the western tradition, where (hopefully civilized, rule-bound) debate can replace yelling and screaming and ultimately, violence.

But:

“Since the world is made up of individuals, there will always be competing ideas. Ideas which, down through the ages, have usually resulted in one thing: WAR.” — Ann K., 9th grade. (I wrote this suddenly, in a flash, to introduce my review of a book about Korean prisoners of war. Those weren’t my words, not the words of the young, shy, obedient, good girl. Where did they come from? It scared me, not to know.)

 

Yes. Debate doesn’t work. Over and over again, we fall into the trap of trying to win over another, not because we have not tried to follow civilized rules, but because we identify with our “position.” Our egos get involved. Whatever we “believe” or at least pretend to believe for the sake of argument, determines our actual value, our importance, relative to the others. We want to win! Damn it! We don’t want to just “discuss.” We are predatory, we can’t help it. Mars rules.

I will introduce another example tomorrow, one much more profound, which academics, who are conditioned to find value in their relative capacity for extensive footnoting, are particularly prone to.

Again, it will be an example drawn from my own recent lived experience. One which I am still processing, coming to terms with. Why did I get so internally furious? On and on.

BTW: I realize that once a Catholic, always a Catholic. No matter how I try to get away from early conditioning, it lingers, yielding confessional blog posts like this one. “Bless me father, for I have sinned.”

Mea culpa!

Hopefully I will be forgiven. Or more pertinent: my higher self will both notice each trap my ego self falls into, and pulls me out of it through processing.

Personal Processing

And it’s true. For the most part, these days, my overall underlying attitude is, yes, Gratitude. Which means: when I haven’t fallen into the left brain trap of argument, I do radiate, right brain/heart connection intact.

Now to get my corpus callosum to actually integrate the two brains!