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Ann Kreilkamp / Ph.D. 83

Astrologer, published author, conference presenter, world traveler, founder & editor of Crone Chronicles: A Journal of Conscious Aging (1989-2001) , and founding visionary of Green Acres Permaculture Village (2010 to present).

Recent Posts

Are YOU Dancing through the Decades?

February 12, 2026

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I’m in the final stages of getting the new archival website, a transformed tendrepress.com, up and running. ‘Twill be filled with bio material, for example, this:

Plus gobs of Essays going back to the 1980s, and including 19 e-books so-far — on and on.

(Old archival website is exopermaculture.com).

It’s really a problem for one such as myself, literally driven to write, every single day, write down my life, its various intersecting dimensions, as well as how each of them intersects with the multidimensional, radiating whole — whatever that is!

And then, to keep gathering and sharing it all, why? WHY?

Well, I don’t know. Just because.

I imagine DJT, doesn’t exactly know why he is driven to disrupt the massive deep state system of systems; he just is. That’s just him. That’s why he was born, and for which all his past activities and associations were prelude.

The same could be said of all of us. We are driven, each of us, if and when our life force busts through the matrix, to fulfill our very unique, very individual purpose on this planet.

BTW: at 83, one of things I find myself doing is looking up old friends, ones I haven’t seen or heard from for many years, even decades, and whom I hold dear in my heart, to see if they are still alive. In many cases, NO. Which makes me sad; that I didn’t reach out during the past few years, at least once. Life gets in the way. And yet, I can’t help but realize . . . All the world’s a stage . . .

(from As You Like It)
                                        All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

 

 

Life in the pulsing center of the Uranus Return

February 11, 2026

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Note: See yesterday’s post.

Here’s an interesting, detailed essay on astrological returns, each of them a circle that, as it closes, shifts into spiral. Notice that when it comes to the Uranus return, however, there’s no specificity; obviously, the author has not yet lived through this phase! How many of us have? (The granddaddy of today’s humanistic astrologers did. Dane Rudyhar lived to be 90).

https://mysticryst.com/blogs/the-mystic-journal/spiral-time-astrological-return-cycles

More and more, I am appreciating this 84-year first ever (and only) Uranus Return (a five year process for 83-year-old me; I’m in year 2).

Hmmm.

More and more, I feel myself spreading into the pulsing center of a gigantic 84-year cycle, only now beginning to bend out into spiral.

How far will I get along the spiral? Will I “die” at some point during this five-year Uranus Return? Will I, like Dane Rudyhar, wait until Saturn returns for the third time (30 year cycles) at 90? Will I outlast that to go into my 90s, the way my parents did, not leaving this plane until 96, two years apart?

More and more, I also notice how friends in their 40s become extremely uncomfortable whenever I even mention altering my daily patterns to reflect my current age. “Oh no, you’re not . . .” is their automatic response, whenever I bring up this subject.

For example, I no longer hike long remote forest trails alone. A friend in her 40s, with whom I was walking two miles yesterday evening to an event — and she was shocked, kept remarking “You walk fast!” — dismissed this concern: “Oh, just use walking poles.” That’s what she does. (I don’t like them; they interrupt my Sagittarian stride.)

Another example, no longer riding a bicycle. Not because I don’t want to — and yes, biking IS inherently dangerous, but so is walking, and slipping, and almost falling, on black ice, which I’ve been doing this winter, in spades. (Two slips this morning; one of them major.)

But because three years ago, when I went to get on a bicycle again after 12 years, I was utterly surprised to realize that my body had to learn how again. Huh! I had assumed my body would remember. Of course! Wrong. Oops! This process, of learning how all over again, would put me in greater danger of falling. Something that more and more, concerns me — as it should!

Let’s face it: Any physical activity, taken to excess, or in the wrong conditions, or without taking into account the “fitness” of one’s own aging body — or one’s own footwear! — today, for the first time, rather than winter boots, I had on new Hi-Tec running shoes — is or can be dangerous.

Also today, on my way back from 3-mile morning walk, a young man on an electric scooter whizzed by on my left, immediately hit a black-iced curve, and went down, hard, on his hip. Lucky he was young! I stopped, and so did a biker who came along in the other direction, both of us commiserating, asking if he’s okay. Yes.

Interesting, how very comfortable I am speaking of my own aging process; very unlike younger folks.

I loved the idea of getting, or I should say, growing old, even when I was a kid; I would tell adults that I couldn’t wait until I was 65!

Well, I’d say, in hindsight, that the 60s were not all that easy, compared to the 70s, or especially the 80s! What will the 90s bring?

My desire nature was still strong in my 60s. Surprisingly. Menopause had not killed that part of me, though it had weakened it somewhat.

70s? Better.

And now 80s! Whew! Finally, I sense what my kid self was seeking all along, to live in the material world in a detached, centered manner, both appreciating and continuously letting go, of whatever or whomever I encounter. As if I live at at the edge of a gigantic sphere, all of which is deeply familiar to me; I simultaneously gaze upon and move into compassion with the passions that drive younger ones, passions that inevitably yield emotional highs and lows, sometimes in rapid succession, other times agonizingly slow, in both directions.

Simply, agony is no longer a part of my life.

But of course, all that could change, in an instant, should I fall and break a hip or knee.

I can live with that contradiction, that contrast between what is, and what might lie directly on the other side of it; disability, and/or death.

Yes Ann. Become comfortable with that contrast, too. Live in the pulsing center of that one. I dare you.

 

 

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”And you? My teacher looked up, his left eyebrow arched, pencil poised. 'I want to do a paper on the concept of time.’” I mumbled, timidly. 'Time?' He sniffed. “I wouldn’t touch the subject. Too difficult.” — AK, 1967
“The longer we live, the larger, the richer the background against which all future experiences take place, and the more complex and subtle our understanding of our own past.” — AK, 1986, A Soul’s Journey
“To me, the most interesting question about human memory is why only certain events, rather than others, carry a charge. Where does the charge come from?” — AK, 1986, A Soul’s Journey
“At a party, many decades ago, a man whom I had just met burst out, in a tone of wonder: ‘You are the first continuously splitting schizophrenic I’ve ever met!’ I bowed low and responded, ‘Thank you!’”
”And you? My teacher looked up, his left eyebrow arched, pencil poised. 'I want to do a paper on the concept of time.’” I mumbled, timidly. 'Time?' He sniffed. “I wouldn’t touch the subject. Too difficult.” — AK, 1967
Ann Kreilkamp

Ann Kreilkamp

Ph.D. 83

Astrologer, published author, conference presenter, world traveler, founder & editor of Crone Chronicles: A Journal of Conscious Aging (1989-2001) , and founding visionary of Green Acres Permaculture Village (2010 to present).