Back June 19, 2024

FULL HEART, OPEN MIND: Navigating CURRENTS of personal grief inside all-too-human (exceedingly vicious) STORMS

 

(Posts on Puppy Shadow’s departure begin with his death on June 4. About six posts so far; I keep thinking I’m done . . .)

Let’s see now. Do I allow myself to continue on my natural path, grieving for Puppy Shadow, who shared nearly his entire long life with me? Moving through memories, of currents of love shared across time and space — through fields, forests, meadows, on paths, streets, sidewalks, 3 to 4 miles daily, for 13 years? Until six weeks before he died on June 4, when, after struggling for weeks up and down stairs, he told me, in no uncertain terms, that he would walk no more?

Shadow, racing ahead, then present, in fields near Selma, Indiana, about eight years ago, in his prime.

Or do I — must I? — interrupt my reveries, once again, to “pay attention” to the latest “news” of ongoing, always-seeming-to-be -ramping-up-to-extinction-finale human atrocities?

Both realities live, not side by side, but in different dimensions.

In one, I follow my heart, wherever it leads, no matter how long it takes.

In the other, I attempt to remain centered, sane, while absorbing human horror.

Yes!

I am BOTH.

both animal and human.

Body resonating in currents of grief,

Mind, as usual, having to choose

— and to notice,

(without judgment)

— others choosing —

— continuously —

between

Glorious Good and Egregious Evil.

 

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”And you? My teacher looked up, his left eyebrow arched, pencil poised. 'I want to do a paper on the concept of time.’” I mumbled, timidly. 'Time?' He sniffed. “I wouldn’t touch the subject. Too difficult.” — AK, 1967
Ann Kreilkamp

Ann Kreilkamp

Ph.D. 82

Astrologer, published author, conference presenter, world traveler, founder & editor of Crone Chronicles: A Journal of Conscious Aging (1989-2001) , and founding visionary of Green Acres Permaculture Village (2010 to present).