Yesterday, I found myself internally wandering; or, not that’s not it. How to spell it out?
Yesterday I found myself internally lost in space, having to pull myself back into 3D over and over again, to even begin to “tackle” all the tasks I’ve set for myself that involve “clearing the basement.” I’ve been at it for about a week now. A big project! A big new project! ARIES! NEPTUNE IN ARIES!
Clearing my own psyche of what no longer serves. NEPTUNE IN ARIES PLUS SATURN IN PISCES . . . Saturn, the task master, sunk down into the basement, full of not only my own stuff, but all sorts of stuff from all sorts of people who have lived for a time in Green Acres Permaculture Village over the past two decades . . .
Making Saturn decisions. What to keep? What to take to Goodwill? What to put outside on the curb for neighbors to take? What to give to the Teachers Warehouse?
And all of it, full of hazy, indwelling Piscean memories . . .
Yes yesterday, one task after another, all of them written down on notes, and requiring, many of them, sub-tasks to complete (which I had spelled out), floated unmoored inside me. Very weird.
Or not so weird. Not during these 0h-so-weird times.
Just yesterday also, for example, while on my ipad (where I tend to go when I willfully disobey my own Saturn directive, in this case, mainly: “please, Ann, focus on the here and now!”), I noticed not one, but two big articulate “influencers” both losing touch with their own capacity to find the right word for whatever they were talking about. Not a difficult word, either. Just a regular word which we all use. For both of them, the “momentary lapse” of memory lasted longer than a moment. More like three or four moments. Embarrassing, for both of them; that was obvious. I imagine both of them (in early middle age) wondered if they were beginning to collapse into dementia . . .
Okay, back to me, my own weird not-so-momentary lapses . . .
Quick! Get going! I had said to myself in September: Figure out (Saturn) some big dream (Neptune) that you can use Aries to initiate, ignite, set on fire!
Oh but I can’t. I still need to clean the basement, still need to dig myself out. (Transit Saturn/Neptune conjunction on the root point of my chart, opposite Libra/Neptune midheaven!)
Still need to clear out my own mind!
To bring myself “up to date!”
Oh yeah, at 82, goin’ on 83?
Yes.
Okay, so here’s what happened this morning.
I had set myself the strict, Saturnine task of going down to the BMV to get my driver’s license. Maybe that will help me focus. Plus, my birthday comes up in just over two months, and I’ve had the same license for ten years!
But: I do NOT want a “Real ID.”
In fact, am determined to get a “non-compliant” Driver’s License, something that’s still possible in Indiana. I tried once before, and found that I didn’t have the right docs. Needed either a copy of my original birth certificate, or a current passport, plus social security card and two pieces of recent mail addressed to me at my current address.
I remember going down to the local Social Security Administration location to get the social security card (which you’re not supposed to carry around with you, so I put it in a safe place), and now, today, looking back, remember that it was for this express purpose, so that I could get a non-compliant Driver’s License.
I remember sending away for my Texas birth certificate, and when it finally came, saw that it had my first name spelled “Anne” rather than “Ann.” I have used Ann all my life; even my baby book had my name spelled “Ann.” So this was new to me. And boy was I pissed.
So I started the process of trying to get it changed. Failed on the first try, but will try again.
I also remember doing all the paperwork to get a new passport (the old one expired two years ago), but only vaguely remember why it was important that I do, since I no longer want to travel abroad.
Wow! The passport arrived, about a week ago!
But I had forgotten why it was so important that I have it now. Until I looked up all the requirements once again, for the state of Indiana to get a driver’s license. Aha! Terrific! They say either a birth certificate or a current passport will do.
When I drove down there this morning, with my new current passport tucked into my purse, I was excited, though loopy. Maybe this will get me going, back on point, to focus on all these various uncompleted or not yet started tasks!
Of course, there were detours along the way, so many that I almost got lost. The usual 20 minute trip took ten minutes longer. I even went into the wrong driveway at the BMV! Luckily I had memorized the address, 1531 S. Curry Road, and had put up a map of the way to get there on my ipad which I had with me.
You’d think I’d just use the directions app on my phone. But no, I did not.
Okay: so what I (re-)discovered this morning was that besides the passport, I needed the social security card and two pieces of mail addressed to me!
Ah, so that was why I got the security card in the first place! Having forgotten (Pisces) the reason, I just dutifully (Saturn) went to get it and had tucked it in the same safe place as I later put the new, and current, passport, which, yes I took out of this safe place, and wondered, briefly, whether or not I should also bring the social security card along . . .
I got home in about an hour and a half, which is what I had budgeted (Saturn) the time for. But I did not succeed in my purpose (Saturn), thanks to my own Piscean tendencies.
So Neptunian ignition will have to wait awhile longer.
I “spell” out this story just to let you know that if you are having the same weirdnesses in your life, none of us should be surprised. Just slog on through, and above all, LAUGH!
