Puppy Shadow’s Final Morning . . .

June 4, 2024

 

Wow. Way sooner than I expected . . .

17-year-old puppy Shadow started coughing late yesterday afternoon, and from then on, 75% of the time each breath he tried to take was a cough. I was up with him most of the night, trying to help any way I could, and it was clear he needed me to do so, desperately; but nothing I did made any difference. Not putting him on the bed with me, not letting him outside (four times), not trying to rock him on my lap in the rocking chair. Just cough, cough, cough, followed by, at times, a huge gag. As if there was something in there and he was trying to get it out. By morning I knew that I was done. That I could not, at age 81, endure another night of incessant coughing; nor could he. I began to put my mind to the idea that I needed to take him in to our regular vet, and have him “put down,” as they say.

Of course it was difficult. And he knew something was up, could sense that I was in a mood never before encountered in his 15 years at my side, my little shadow. His response was to be restless, nervous, even trembly, scared, I’d say. And meanwhile, cough cough cough with every single breath, for 20 minutes at a time, or 30, or a whole hour . . .

Called the vet at 8:30. Dr. Medlock, a very caring soul, was able to see us at 11:30.

Diagnosis was uncertain: possibly, a collapsing trachea; but there were other alternatives, which would require testing, and likely, ongoing medication. I did not wish to go that route, and told him so. Told him that I personally did not want to go that route either, try to keep myself alive beyond when it was clearly time to go. He agreed; says he feels the same about his own life.

The experience of being with my dearest companion animal while he was euthanized felt like a sacred ceremony. I held him while first saline was injected into the preset port, then anesthesia, then, finally, a deliberately fatal dose of a morphine-like substance. With anesthesia, his trembly little body gradually quieted; with the killer drug, his body went utterly limp. It was over. His eyes were still open. But unseeing. The soul of little Shadow was no longer at home in his aged body.

I wrapped his body in a blanket I brought from home, and carried the bundle to the car, Dr. Medlock following with my purse, glasses and keys.

Then, several hours later, Adam, Marita and I buried little Shadow in the garden, wrapped in the garment I wore home from the hospital, when I broke my wrist a few short months ago.

Let the grieving begin.

 

 

IS PERCEPTION REALITY? “Pride” month at Petco and Target

June 3, 2024

On this glorious day in early June, I happened to walk into Petco for 17-year-old puppy Shadow’s bath and haircut appointment, and what did I see? Oh wait . . . what did I see even before I walked in? Yes, the word “grooming.”

Made me laugh. See yesterday’s post. And yes, this is a second post following that one, tracing the subtle and blatant effects of PRIDE month in my town.

But then, when I walked in! It reminded me of Target last year, when a Pride display was front and center in the local store.

Yep. Front and center, now, this year, in Petco.

Okay, so I decided to see what Target was up to this year. Would they do the same kind of blatant propaganda as last year? Hmmm.

Walked in, walked around, saw lots of stuff that had a rainbow tint or hint, but was it deliberate?

Or was it just my perceptions, now acutely focused on what is being used to hijack the rainbow, especially this month..

Oh wait. This one, though subtle, IS deliberate, I’m sure it is . . .

Aha, a few aisles further in, in the very middle of the store (i.e., NOT front and center), this announcement . . .

Turn the corner, and it’s on full display.

Started to walk back out of the store, and came upon both boots and shoes. Again, no idea if this is a subtle hint of Pride month or the usual colors which I don’t notice except during this month!

Then there’s this shirt. Again, subtle.

One more. Notice the middle Barbie . . .

YUCK.