Recent Posts

Essays on Processing Pain as a New Mother

September 18, 2026

All during the recent Clancy drama, I was enveloped in remembrance of my own isolating pain as a new mother. In fact, as this next essay indicates, I had a cat that I threw against the wall, so that I would not do the same thing to one of my two small sons. 

I Wish People Would Ask, _Why Were You Unable to Mother Your Own Children__

Here’s an e-book I created from various essays on the subject.

On Mothering

 

Walking without a Cell Phone . . .

September 18, 2026

On this morning’s walk with Scampi, we headed to the IU campus, and I found myself noticing, again — this is a very regular occurrence — all the cell phones. How every student either had a cell phone in hand, kept taking it in and out of his or her pocket, or, more often, was actually focusing on it while walking. Oh, and many of them had ear buds with cell phone in pocket, either listening to who knows what, or actually, obviously conversing. Like the woman I passed who muttered “No” . . . and then again, a bit louder, “NO!”

Then there were the ones standing, waiting for a bus, all together and each one isolated, busy with his or her cell phone.

I wish I had some photos of what I saw. Not that you too don’t see it every day (unless you too are busy on your phone). But wait: I can’t get photos unless I have my cell phone with me on walk! So forget that!

I’m of an age that remembers seeing my first “personal computer” in someone’s home; must have been back in the late ’70s, and an entire corner of a room was devoted to it.

I’m also one who was married (from 1990 until he died in 2003) to Jeff Joel, whose dad, Amos Joel, invented the cell phone . . . 

And now, they’re literally everywhere. Demanding attention, each isolated person’s fleeting attention, flitting from one thing to another, and another and another. . .

This morning, I don’t remember seeing anyone walking without at least a pocketed cell phone. And I’d say that at least 80% had their cell phones in their hands, with at least 50% of the 80% focusing on them while walking. 

Usually I’m more focused on the trees, the twittering birds at their very tippy tops, the squirrels scampering up and down. But today? No. I found myself disturbed by cell phones. Disturbed by, not only the anonymity, but the actual anomie this phenomenon has introduced into society, so that, not only “anything goes,” but who knows what’s real?

I’m real. Are you?

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