Meditation on My Early Morning Walk

June 18, 2026

TT 2 WALKING and where it leads

 

Back in my mid-20s, on my usual four miles a day walk — a habit I had ignited in high school — but now with two small sons with me, one lying in buggy, one sitting on top, I remember very clearly, like it was yesterday, the day when I saw an old woman approach from the other direction on the narrow sidewalk. She looked scared, defeated. As if she knew she would be ignored.

My mind, usually so busy I hardly noticed what was going on around me, inexplicably let go. I stopped, and rolled slightly to one side, enough to make it easy for her to pass. As she did there was such a shining light of appreciation in her eyes. Her opened heart found my heart — and opened it. Lifted me out of daily doldrums. An astonishing moment.

Ever since then, I’ve been enjoying hugely these chance meetings with folks who are walking in the opposite direction. Usually, they at least respond to my smile, by smiling themselves. Our hearts lift, briefly, mutually. I’d say about 95% of passers-by do greet me. Once in a while of course, there is the outlier, who basically finds me, an old woman much like the one I stopped for nearly 60 years ago, invisible. And, yes, these days, there’s likely something in his or her ears, occupying attention otherwise.

That happened this morning. But it is so exceedingly rare! And here’s what’s weird: every time it does, I am still crestfallen! Luckily, I also notice my automatic reaction; so do not take it personally.

And of course, having Scampi with me is key to an almost guaranteed repartee, IF the other person also walks with a dog. As we approach, I ask, “Okay if we say hello?” Usually, the other is eager. Once in a blue moon, the walker says his dog is too rambunctious, or “doesn’t like other dogs.” But even that refusal sometimes dissolves, thanks to Scampi’s curiosity, his fearless approach to another dog, no matter what its size, or temperament.

And when we dog walkers do meet and talk, often while continuously uncrossing the leashes our dogs are continuously crossing in their utter eagerness to get to know each other, of course, our conversation centers on our dogs. Their names, ages, breeds, how long we’ve had them, etc. This “factual” conversation hides something much more profound: connection, real, genuine, authentic connection between two human beings who are learning from their dogs how to be real, in the moment, no matter what.

P.S. Yes. GOD IS DOG SPELLED BACKWARDS.

 

While Creating E-Book on ADDICTION, I Released a Serious Addiction!

June 17, 2026

Over the past week or so, I created another e-book (20 so far!), by collecting old essays that focused in some way on Addiction, and putting them together with a title page, prelude, note to reader, etc.  Put it up on the tendrepress website:

MY LIFELONG QUEST FOR FREEDOM FROM ADDICTION

Meanwhile, and I didn’t realize this until this very morning, during this same time period I actually weaned myself from another addiction, to screens! Not that I don’t get on my computer (like now), or ipad any more. However, I’ve broken through the neurological pattern that had made it impossible for me to actually focus on reading a printed book all the way through.

This refusal, this instant restlessness, when I tried to pick up an actual book and read it, word by word, paragraph by paragraph, absorbing its meaning over the time it took to read it, had been there for years. Many years. I remember first noticing it, and grew alarmed. But that didn’t stop me from staying addicted to screens, and foregoing actual printed books.

In other words, I had become afflicted with, what is it called, ADD? Attention Deficit Disorder. Couldn’t sustain a focus. Just couldn’t. Would become restless, almost immediately.

But! Over the past week to ten days I have found myself actually able to focus in a sustained manner. So far, have absorbed three books, all during times when I would otherwise have been onscreen, continuously distracted,  attention flitting from one thing to another.

And yes, this renewed focus on printed books has calmed me down. I’m no longer just seeking the latest dopamine rush, over and over again.

Another serious addiction busted. YES!

Grateful.