One thing that blew me away when I finally recognized it: my own “irritability” I mentioned yesterday was the hornet/wasp part of me erupting! Or: I could say that the multiple wasp/hornet bites catalyzed a sting inside me on every level of my being, not just physical and emotional. Mental and spiritual too.
You might say that the attack catalyzed a (painful but necessary) reunification of all these levels of my being. So thank you, thank you, little nasties!
So yesterday, the day after the attack (when I kept “barreling through” despite the pain), I finally got stopped in my tracks and took charge. At this writing, I’ve now gone through about six pounds of epsom salts (one cup per ankle soak), which translates to about 14 ten-minute soaks, averaging one per hour both yesterday and so far this morning. Have been using the homeopathic Apis, also hourly. Plus, keeping the area iced, since the redness and swelling did increase somewhat yesterday.
Result: I stayed mostly still yesterday, very unlike me. Which meant I finally got around to reading Paul Shepard’s NATURE AND MADNESS, which has sat there, unopened, on the side table by my special chair ever since I ordered it, at least three months ago. The basic thesis: because we have lost contact with nature, our society has gone mad. And that was written in 1982, forty years ago! One half-cycle of Uranus ago!
Unfortunately, the societal madness of what, just to give a tiny example, what Clif High calls “queering language” of the current “woke” agenda, has been erupting for many nature-starved centuries.
So, two days ago, nature insisted on intimate, in fact invasive, contact with me; hornets or wasps, having their nest absent-mindedly stepped on by a human working with energetic (Mars) eruptive (Uranus) focus (Saturn) to clear out the area in which their nest is ensconced, got MAD, in fact FURIOUS! I not only thank them from the bottom of my heart, but I apologize for my own part in the drama we enacted.
Hmmm . . . during this ongoing Mars/Uranus North Node (and now fueled by Saturn in Aquarius) time, what if we could begin to view “triggered” interactions of human beings on either side of whatever divide as calling for apologies, on both sides?
Not that we would expect an apology from the other; that really doesn’t matter. This is not just another “tit for tat.” What matters is that WE apologize. Maybe “the Other” will respond in kind, maybe not. Either way, the shared grief that undergirds this chaotic, turbulent time can begin to heal inside at least one person, our own tiny, majestic, sovereign center of the infinitely mysterious universe. Let’s face it: once we truly do feel ourselves inside the internal and external circumstances of the Other’s living embodiment, we cannot help but regret the pain, blame, or shame ignited by our tone, or our words, our attitude . . . .
In other words, we pretend to interact as equals, but actually we feel superior, and want to dominate the other . . . and thus conflict arises.
This morning, the redness and swelling are down some, so I will even venture forth with puppy Shadow for a short walk.
I’ve been so free of sudden major traumas to my body for so long, that, at some level, I “lost touch” with my own embodied nature, with the body as an outgrowth of the natural world. Of the hornets or wasps and me as part of a single, pulsing, conscious Earth and cosmic organism.
Though I have been teaching, even, unfortunately, preaching (see above, superior attitude) — this wisdom for decades, it appears that I must periodically deepen my actual lived experience of it.